WARNING: This article possesses spoilers for some story events in Elden Ring.

The moment you step out into the world of Elden Ring, you are greeted by a lush and inviting grassy steppe with mountains sprawling in the far distance, a lofty castle hanging off a cliff’s edge, and glimmering lights inviting you to follow the thread of grace. You step forward and see a curious figure on the ledge, seemingly awaiting your arrival. Upon greeting him, he responds by calling you hopelessly maidenless and laughing at your ridiculous plight. Then a giant knight on horseback murders you instantly.

It’s a humbling feeling, those first few minutes in the Lands Between. Fortunately, over the course of your adventure, you will be able to rectify both of your sorry conditions. Not only will you gain the skills and resources to triumphantly return and pound that first knight into the dirt; but with time and effort, you might also find the man or maiden of your dreams. More so than any previous Souls game, Elden Ring offers not just plentiful adventure, but a dazzling array of romance options for your lowly Tarnished self. And today on Why It Works, that’s precisely the element of this game we’ll be celebrating as we break down the route choices of Elden Ring, my favorite romance anime!

Melina, The Childhood Friend

Image via Rock Paper Shotgun

The first to join your side, and your most loyal companion throughout your journey, Melina fits naturally and tragically into the “childhood friend” archetype. Before anyone else even deigns to learn your name, Melina is at your side, and even gives you a cool horse just for meeting her. Like all childhood friend characters, Melina coyly evades defining the nature of your relationship, offering to “play the role of finger maiden, just, you know, if you’re into that or anything.” Unfortunately, like all childhood friend options, Melina is also doomed to lose you just before the end, fulfilling her destiny as both breacher of the Erdtree and long-suffering next-door neighbor.

Ranni, The Student Council President

Image via Game Rant

Fortunately, while Melina is destined to leave you, the next love interest you meet might well be considered your “true route.” From the moment she meets you, Ranni treats you with a combination of skepticism and amusement, unsure of your role in her greater plans. Just as the student council president tends to be in some way affiliated with the school’s secret evil underbelly, so is Ranni embedded directly in the machinations of the shard bearers, with both her mother and brother each bearing one of the shards. Haughty, highly educated, and self-critical to the point of instigating the Night of Black Knives, Ranni fits the presidential profile to a T, leaving you the work of becoming a Tarnished worthy of her hand(s).

Blaidd, The Stoic Protector

Image via pcgamer

As a solemn, guarded protector of his liege Ranni, Blaidd presents a hard shell that’s well worth cracking and becomes one of your most stalwart allies across your journey. In spite of his gruff exterior, Blaidd eventually reveals more of himself than almost any of your companions, sharing in your triumphs and defeats with a laugh and a comforting word. Courageous, driven, and very very tall, Blaidd is a pillar of support in a harsh wilderness, perfectly exemplifying the knight whose thoughts are elsewhere even as he holds you in his arms. His journey might be a doomed one, but in the end, that just makes it all the more romantic.

Millicent, The Brave Knight

Image via PCGamesN

Every romance anime needs a strong and noble option, a heroine whose gallantry is as vast as her shoulders are broad. In true Elden Ring fashion, the “jock” of Elden Ring is the rot-touched Millicent, descendent of the toughest woman in all the Lands Between. Millicent might not possess quite the same strength as her infuriatingly powerful mother, but she more than makes up for it in heroism and steadfastness of purpose. If you seek a maiden who’d raise a sword and fight beside you, there’s no better choice than the reliable Millicent, a woman strong enough to literally make it all the way from Caelid to the Altus Plateau one-handed.

Fia, The Deathbed Onee-san

Image via Rock Paper Shotgun

Of course, it’s also quite reasonable to seek not physical strength, but the wisdom of age and experience. In that case, let yourself rest a moment, and be comforted by the embrace of Fia, Deathbed Companion. Fia stands just one “ara ara” short of perfectly exemplifying the mature romantic archetype, having clearly lived a life of broad and instructive experience. In truth, Fia is likely too loyal to her grand mission of liberation to be satisfied just being your lover — but even in that way, she is still playing the part of the mature paramore, perfectly content to teach you some tricks and then send you on your youthful adventures.

Rya, The Perfect Cinnamon Roll

Image via JoyFreak

Every great romance anime needs an option who’s less someone you want to wine and dine and more someone who, if anything bad ever happened to them, you would kill everyone in the room and then yourself. And for Elden Ring, that is undoubtedly the sweetest snake maiden who is always trying her best, Rya of Volcano Manor. Though she’s theoretically aligned with one of Elden Ring’s most ominous factions, even Rya’s own mother admits that her daughter is too perfect for her, too perfect for this world altogether. In spite of her terrible posture and blasphemous origins, Rya approaches every task with a can-do attitude and a positive spirit, doing her best to make friends who can appreciate her snakely ways. If you hurt Rya, I am coming for you.

In its great benevolence, Elden Ring offers no shortage of other friends and lovers, from the aesthetically ailing Rodrick to the chipper little brother Jar Bairn. Whether Fromsoftware intends it or not, there is great romance in gothic fantasy and tragedy alike, and Elden Ring is all the better for it. Make both your tactical and romantic decisions wisely and you might yet survive the Lands Between with your trusted love at your side.

Nick Creamer has been writing about cartoons for too many years now and is always ready to cry about Madoka. You can find more of his work at his blog Wrong Every Time, or follow him on Twitter.